No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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