We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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