Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
