Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
