now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
