What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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