so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
