erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
