one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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