doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
