this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
