i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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