that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
