Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
