Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
