so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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