so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
