the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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