no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
