Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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