Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize