her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize