I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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