I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
