I think scott just propositioned me for sex
one might say we're banned from that church
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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