Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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