Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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