No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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