No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
