Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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