I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
