Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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