the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
