Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
