Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
