i permit you to call me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
