Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
