So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
