Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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