just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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