I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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