508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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