no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
