yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hippo gnu deer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The Olympian is in my bed
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
