I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
