you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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