Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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