just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
All the doctor said was why
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
