i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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