I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
