I hate all girls vehemently.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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