You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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