Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize