so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
