I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
