Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
