chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
