all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
