Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
