i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
