I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
