If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
