So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
