She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize