Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
