and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
