He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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