i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
