My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
