I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need moral support for this bender
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
