is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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