There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
